The Pain of Losing You
by XxxTalonxxX
Summary: Naruto can't help but chase Sasuke. And he's made up his mind that this chase will be the last. One way or another, when this chase is over, Naruto won't be chasing Sasuke anymore. One way or another. NARUSASU.
1. Prologue: Pain

_**Prologue: Pain**_

Naruto Uzumaki was not happy.

He seemed happy. He still laughed the same, still grinned the same. He still said the same things, still added "Believe it!" to his sentences. He dressed the same. Ate ramen everyday, just like normal.

But on the inside he was dying.

It had been three years. Three years since Sasuke left Konoha for power. For hatred. For revenge.

Naruto hadn't understood it at the start. He had everything Naruto had ever needed. He had friends, skill. He used to have a mother and a father who loved him. An older brother who doted upon him, most of the time.

He had people he loved.

Now, three years on and with a storm of pain inside his very soul, Naruto understood that Sasuke's pain had been different from his own.

Naruto hadn't _had_ anyone.

Sasuke lost everyone.

The difference, Naruto thought, was that he had broken through the pain. He had come into the light, having been in the darkness for so long. Whereas Sasuke had been in the light, and when he was cast into the dark he couldn't see the light anymore. It had been dark and cold and he probably hadn't understood it.

Now, with Sasuke gone, Naruto was back in the dark again. But this time he still had people. Like stars in the distance, where he could never reach them.

Sasuke had taken away almost all the light from Naruto.

Sasuke had forced him to understand the pain of being the last Uchiha.

Which made Naruto wonder, in the true darkness that came at night when the sun went down and when Naruto didn't have to smile and didn't have to lie…

Just who was Sasuke Uchiha to Naruto Uzumaki?

What gave him the power to destroy everything he had gained over the years?

What would it take to bring him back to the light?

To bring both of them back?

Naruto thought he knew.

But he was scared of what could happen if he failed.

The stars would go out.

There would be no light.

And he would die.

Because there was only so much a soul like his could take of being in the dark.

Especially when the only one who could bring him back was so tormented himself.

**A/N:** Okay...I've written a few more chapters for this already and I'll update this if I get 10 reviews. PLEASE BE NICE!!! This is my second fanfic. Anyways, I hope you all like this. The rest of the fic will actually be a story, instead of just feelings and stuffs.

LOVE YOU ALL!!! VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR REVIEWERS!!!


	2. Chapter 1: On My Own

_**Chapter One: On My Own**_

Naruto knew what he had to do. And he knew he had to do it alone. And he knew he might not come back.

He wrote a note to Kakashi and Sakura. He knew that they might not understand. He thought Kakashi might. He had told Naruto about Obito a little while ago. So Naruto thought he might understand why he had to do this. He looked down at the note.

_Kakashi Sensei and Sakura Chan,_

_I don't know if you'll understand this. I hope you do. It would make life a little easier._

_Do you know what pain is? Not physical pain. That's part of being a shinobi. But the kind of pain where you feel like there's a knife in your heart all the time. Where you smile and laugh and force yourself to act happy because you care too much about the people you love to let them watch you suffer._

_Do you know that kind of pain? I do. I've been living with it for three years._

_I understand Sasuke now. He had everyone he ever loved taken away from him. And now that he's gone, I know his pain._

_Because I loved Sasuke Uchiha._

_And not as a brother, like I've been telling you all. Never like that. The only reason I told you that is because you would accept it. And I believed you wouldn't accept the truth._

_I love him like my father loved my mother._

_And it is killing me everyday he isn't with me._

_So I'm leaving. I'll either come back with him or you'll find my body somewhere. Because what's the point of being Hokage if you can't care about your village? If you can't care about anything?_

_Goodbye. Maybe forever. Don't come looking for me._

_Naruto Uzumaki_

He folded the note and slipped it underneath his door. He locked it from the outside. He glanced up at the sky and was thankful that he could drop his mask finally. He let the smile slip from his face. He let the pain show in his eyes and he let the tears run down his face. Because in the three years that had passed since Sasuke left he had not cried once. He had had to keep up the mask constantly. Even in his own house. Anyone could have called by or snuck in.

He turned away from Konohagakure, his home, and began to run. To find the source of his pain. And either bring him back or die.

On his own.

He was on his own now.

He didn't have to act like the idiot Konoha knew.

Out here he could be the tormented, suffering, hurt and pained person he really was.

**A/N: Okay, I admit it. I'm soft. I made it to two reviews before I updated this. *sighs and smacks own forehead* But ANYWAYS, finally getting to actually storyness now (WOOT!) so yeah, major yays.**

**Virtual cookies for...(drumroll please...) CatSD0MA, experiment13 and blackwingsgreeneyes!!! Thank you sooooo much, it makes me so happy to get nice reviews!!! Oh, and virtual lollipop for antisocialreject for putting my humble fic on alert!!!**

**Lufflez!!!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! PRESS TEH BUTTON!!! GAARA, NARU AND SASU CHIBI PLUSHIES WILL JUMP OUT OF THE SCREEN IF YOU DO!!!**

_Disclaimer for entire fic: I do not own Naruto, I never will own Naruto, I wish to own Naruto._

_Disclaimer for plushie claim: Said plushies may be invisible and.....uhhhh.....that word for being able to move through things.....transparent? No.....damn that's not it....that word's gonna really bug me now....._

XxxTalonxxX


	3. Chapter 2: Animal I Have Become

_**Chapter Two: Animal I Have Become**_

He had been running for a few weeks now. He had fallen back onto his predatory instincts. He was every bit the fox inside him. He followed Sasuke's faint scent with certainty, knowing he was right with every turn he made. How long had he known this scent in his darkest deepest dreams? How long had he really been following this faint trail?

The scent was the only thing in his mind now. The barely there aroma of sandalwood and lemongrass. The only evidence of Sasuke.

The human part of him was always asking meaningless questions. Wanting to know things that could not be answered without Sasuke. Wondering what he looked like now. What he felt like. If he dreamt of Naruto as he dreamt of Sasuke.

The fox part of him had taken over in desperation. He had needed to stop the burning desire to _know_, to _understand_. He had needed to stop thinking.

For the first time in his life, Naruto needed silence.

Suddenly his body stopped, gracefully landing on a tree branch and crouching. He sniffed the air. The aroma had suddenly grown strong, overwhelming his heightened senses.

Sasuke was close.

Sasuke was nearby.

He felt the pain is his heart throb, reminding him of the pain that Sasuke had caused.

What was he going to say?

He suddenly knew.

He was going to tell Sasuke of the _pain_.

Of the sense of _drowning_.

Of the _burn_ in his every muscle every time he trained, trying to be powerful enough for both of them. Trying to bring him _home_.

He was going to tell Sasuke that this could be the end for him. This could break him forever.

This was his Time of Dying.

This was the reason he could not sleep at night.

This was the reason he was here.

This was the only way he could live on.

This was the way to decide whether or not he would die.

And this creature, who would stand before Sasuke soon and tell him of torture, was the animal he had become.

The animal Sasuke had created.

**A/N: Teehee. It will get darker from here. And then.....who knows??? Ok, enough suspense. Big THANK YOU! to everyone out there who has been reading this. Again, please PLEASE review, because I wanna know how I can make my stories better for you and me. And any randoms who you may know who don't bother to read the author's note.**

**LUFFLEZ!!!!**

XxxTalonxxX


	4. Chapter 3: Now or Never

_**Chapter Three: Now or Never**_

He had found Sasuke a few minutes ago. He waited in the tree branch he was perched on, bringing the human part of him back into control slowly.

He leapt from the tree branch and landed silently in front of Sasuke Uchiha.

"Here to bring me back _again_, dobe? Where's the backup?" he sneered, his eyes cold and bleak. Like stone.

"There is no backup. I am alone. I have been for a long time, Sasuke." Naruto replied, feeling the pain twist inside him. This was going to hurt. A lot.

"Alone? _You?_ Naruto Uzumaki always has friends. Always has backup." Sasuke said, hand straying to his sword. _What on Earth is going on here? _Sasuke thought.

"Friends?" Naruto scoffed, chuckling. It was a horrible sound. "I told my _friends_ that this time I would either come back with _you_ or as a dead body. How does that make you feel, Uchiha? I would abandon my _friends_ for you." he said. The pain was twisting even more sharply now.

_Abandon his friends? Has he gone crazy? A dead body? SInce when has he been morbid? _Sasuke thought.

"Why would you do that? We haven't been close for three years, dobe. I _left_ you, dying in a valley in the middle of a storm." Sasuke said. "And what do you mean a dead body? Are you so sure of your defeat?"

"No. I know that in a fight between us I would have to try to kill you. I can't do that. What I mean when I say a dead body is that I will either bring you back home, or kill myself." Naruto said. Coldly. Emotionessly. Sasuke made a choking noise. He seemed a little shocked.

"_Kill yourself?!?_ What happened to becoming Hokage? Your so-called 'dream'?" Sasuke asked, searching Naruto's face for the happy, idiotic boy he had once known. He saw nothing. It scared him. Where was his best friend? Where was he?

"What use is being Hokage if I don't care about my village? How can I live to protect people I don't notice anymore? I haven't been able to believe like I did since you left me, Sasuke! I smile, sure, I smile and I laugh and I eat ramen and I go on missions. But I don't _really_ smile or laugh, I can't _taste_ ramen anymore, and I go on missions hoping that maybe I'll die this time so that I don't have to come back and pretend all over again! I know your pain now, Sasuke, but I have no revenge to focus on, because that would mean killing you. And I just _can't_, Sasuke, I just _can't_." Naruto ranted. He said the last few words with tears in his eyes and pain in every aspect of his face. His fists were clenched and he was panting heavily.

"Why can't you kill me?" Sasuke asked quietly. Naruto was scaring him. He had never seen him so broken, never. It made his heart hurt to watch. He wondered why.

"Why? Haven't you guessed yet, you stupid Uchiha?" Naruto said, the pain now everywhere in him, burning and twisting and cutting him apart from the inside.

"No, I haven't guessed." Sasuke said, looking down at the ground, blinking away tears. _TEARS?! Why would I cry for him? I haven't cried in years..._ Sasuke thought. Naruto growled, striding over to where Sasuke was standing and grabbing his chin.

"Look at me! Look at me!" he said, almost screaming. Sasuke met his eyes. He almost stepped back in shock. The pain is Naruto's eyes…he had seen that pain before. In the mirror, everyday.

"The reason I can't kill you, Sasuke, is because of one little thing. Don't you wonder why I'm so tormented by you leaving? Don't you wonder how you could have affected me like this?" Naruto said, whispering. Sasuke couldn't look away, couldn't tear his gaze from Naruto's. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"I love you, Sasuke Uchiha. And if I can't have you then I will kill myself. Because it hurts too much to continue living like I have been. The pain of losing you forever would kill me if you say no to me now."

Sasuke's jaw dropped.

"You WHAT?!? Oh Kami. Oh shit. Holy crap." Sasuke said, stumbling backwards and fainting. Naruto stared at his prone figure, lying on the ground.

He would wait for him to wake.

He didn't have an answer yet.

So he would wait.

**A/N: Ooh, what will Sasuke's answer be? Well, for those of you who want it to stay as dark as it has been, I'm sorry, but that probably won't continue. I get a feeling there will be many LOLS about Kakashi in the last chapter though :)**

**Thank you all so much for reading this!! I didn't expect it to get so many reviews and I _definitely_ didn't expect so may people to read it. I honsetly didn't think it was that great. **

**VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!**

**Lufflez**

**XxxTalonxxX**


	5. Chapter 4: Never Too Late

_**Chapter Four: Never Too Late**_

Naruto sat with his back to the tree trunk, staring at Sasuke. Slowly, Sasuke opened his eyes. He blinked twice. Then he sat bolt upright with a look of pure shock on his face. He turned to face Naruto, slowly, unbelievingly. His normally intelligent mind was in a bewildered state, trying to process what the blonde boy had said.

"Naruto." he whispered. The blonde in question nodded at Sasuke. Then he spoke.

"I still haven't gotten your answer. Will you come back home or will I commit suicide?" Naruto asked, his voice calm and even. Sasuke stared at him. Blinked. Continued to stare at him. He opened his mouth and said the first thing to come into his head.

"Naruto…I'm so sorry."

"It's too late for sorry. It's too late." Naruto said. Trying to believe that. Knowing that it couldn't ever be too late for apologising with Sasuke.

Silence.

Sasuke tried to calm his raging thoughts, tried to breathe like he normally did. It wasn't working. And then, like a bolt from the blue, it hit him. That he didn't leave Konoha just for revenge. He was just trying to get away from Naruto. Naruto, the only person there who had even _tried_ to understand him. Naruto, the only person he thought of as his equal in not just combat, but in all aspects. Naruto...the only person who could make his heartbeat race...Naruto...the only person who had made him smile...

He had left because he had thought that he was too close to falling in love, and now he realised that it was too late. Too late. The irony made his lips twitch. Then he inhaled, knowing that what he was about to do would change their lives forever. And save Naruto's.

"I will come back with you. Not just to stop you from killing yourself...Kami knows what that could do to people... But because I love you too. And as twisted as our relationship is undoubtedly going to be, I want to be...with you." Sasuke said slowly, as though not believing that he was saying what he was saying. Naruto looked at him. The pain in his eyes was still there, but lighened somehow. There was hope there...

"What about Itachi?" Naruto asked. He had to know. If Sasuke was going to leave again in the future, he had to know.

"What you said before…about not being able to kill me? I think…I think I might not be able to kill Itachi. I could defeat him. Hell, maybe I could wound him. But…he's my brother…after everything, he's still my brother." Sasuke said. Naruto nodded. He stood up. Held out a hand to Sasuke.

Sasuke took his hand.

Neither of them let go as they started leaping through the trees.

Neither of them spoke for the weeks it took to get back to Konoha.

But as they jumped in time with each other the three years of torment and anguish and hurt melted away. They weren't the bitter enemies they once were. They were best friends and rivals. They were everything to each other.

The pain was gone.

The hate was gone.

It wasn't too late for them.

Somehow, they both came to the conclusion that it wouldn't ever be too late for them.

So when they reached Konha's gates and stared into the village, their thoughts were the same.

_Never too late._

**A/N: Just the epilogue to go!!! HAPPY ENDING!!! I think Naruto killing himself would make people cry. But, if you would prefer that ending, contact me and I'll send you an alternate last two chapters. ONCE AGAIN, VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR ALL!!!**


	6. Epilogue: It's All Over

_**Epilogue: It's All Over**_

Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha walked through the gates of Konoha, hand in hand. There was no-one around.

"Naruto, what if they don't want me back?" Sasuke asked suddenly, looking nervous.

"Suke, if there's one thing I know about Konoha it's that they always accept their children. No matter where they've been or what they've done, if they're sorry then they're welcomed with open arms." Naruto said confidently.

"'Suke'?" Sasuke said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep." Naruto said, grinning. It was a real grin too, the first in three years.

"Okay then…Ruto." Sasuke said, also grinning. The first since the Uchiha massacre.

"'Ruto'? Nice one." Naruto said.

Meanwhile, at the training grounds…

The Konoha Thirteen (minus two, Naruto and Sasuke) were training. Kakashi stood by at the end of the training ground. Pakkun was at his feet.

Suddenly Pakkun yelped. Kakashi stared at him.

"Naruto! He's back!"

"What!?" Kakashi yelled, surprising those near him. Everyone ran over.

"What is it, Kakashi?" Sakura asked.

"Pakkun says Naruto's back." Kakashi said.

Kiba sniffed the air. His eyes widened.

"He is back. And he's got Sasuke with him." Kiba said slowly. There was a moment of silence. Then Kiba started running, the rest of the group following him.

Back with Naruto and Sasuke…

Naruto and Sasuke stood in the middle of the street. Sasuke was staring around at everything, breathing deeply. "I had no idea how much I missed this place." he said.

Suddenly a large blur appeared at the end of the street. Naruto grinned.

"Shinobi Stampede!" he yelled. Sasuke laughed.

The blur came to a stop in front of them, and was suddenly a lot less blurry.

"Wow. You all came." Naruto said, genuinely surprised.

"You're popular here, Ruto, remember? Pft. I can't believe you were going to off yourself. You would've had the biggest funeral ever." Sasuke told him.

"Probably. Still, I had my reason."

"What a stupid reason though. If you had told me any of that stuff before, I would've come back. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know that, Suke."

Kakashi and the Konoha Thirteen (minus two) were staring at them throughout this exchange.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU TWO BEEN!?!?! I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU FOR THREE YEARS, SASUKE, AND YOU, NARUTO! YOU LEFT A SUICIDE NOTE!" Kakashi screamed.

"It wasn't a suicide note! It could've been a suicide note if I had been forced to take that option. But I wasn't. And Sasuke's given up on the Itachi hate revenge thingy."

"He what!?"

"Yeah. Not worth the hassle." Sasuke said.

"You sound like Shikamaru, you realise." Ino said.

"Do you _want_ me to sound like Shikamaru?" Sasuke said, raising a eyebrow. She gaped at him. Sakura snorted, then turned to look at her boys.

"So, I have no chance then, huh?" she asked. Sasuke and Naruto nodded slowly. She grinned.

"Good. Me and Sai are kinda together now." she said.

"What!?" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yeah. Lots of other stuff happened while you were gone. Come on, we'll tell you about it at lunch."

"Cool." Sasuke said.

And so, Sasuke was welcomed back to Konoha with open arms (even if it was only to relieve certain people of depression).

**A/N: And there you have it!! I will make a sequel if anyone wants one :)**

**Oh, and for the people who haven't noticed: there are Three Days Grace references EVERYWHERE in this fic. Lol.**

**Lufflez to all!!!**

**Talon**


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